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Monday, October 29, 2007
K-Fed's New G-Friend On B-Spears
The quotes are from Nicole Narain, K-Fed's new girlfriend. She tells us what Kevin Federline says about different aspects of the marriage and divorce. Read: The Ex Is A Mess...
On Britney’s mental state:
"Britney's behaviour has already put our kids at risk and I can't let things get any worse. She's lost all grasp on reality and is dragging the children through hell. Her mood swings are now so wild that I live in fear of getting a call telling me that she has killed herself. I can't allow her to have custody because I seriously believe she could harm our sons. I've shared her life and I know she's capable of anything with pills and a few drinks inside her."
On Britney’s drinking:
"I'd see her walking around the house guzzling vodka and Coke and looking very tipsy. Then a few moments later, I saw her pick up Jayden and start breast-feeding him. That sent me up the wall. I yelled at her, ‘If you really wanna drink then make sure the baby gets bottled milk, not yours.' I was terrified she was poisoning my son. But she wouldn't listen. She never would. She treated me like one of her employees who bowed to her every whim. "She screamed back, ‘You can't talk to me that way!' But I had to stand up for my children as well as myself.
On what led to the divorce:
"Two weeks later she filed for divorce. I only found out when I heard it as a news item on the radio. I felt she was just trying to teach me a lesson for telling her off about the breast-feeding incident. But when I called she kicked off another row and screamed, ‘You're nothing without me'. I never wanted a divorce but now I knew there was no option."
On Britney’s parenting:
“During the last few months I'd started picking her up on her parenting skills. She'd leave the kids near the pool unsupervised or drive around without belting them in. She always insisted what she was doing was right. There was no getting through to her.”
On Britney's bi-curious pass at Nicole:
“I was doing my make-up and I could feel someone staring at me. It was Britney, in a green dress and looking a bit spaced-out. She looked at me in a provocative way... I thought she was hoping to get me closer to her. When I told Kevin he nodded and said, ‘Knowing her, she probably was'.”
Nicole says:
"Kevin is battling for his kids as he genuinely fears they are at risk. He never shouts and screams about Britney in front of me. He does speak openly about his concerns for his children though." According to Nicole, Kevin is especially worried about the damage Britney's lifestyle is doing to their sons.
She reveals: "I was with Kevin on Monday morning when his kids turned up after spending time with Britney. He was overjoyed to see them, but deeply concerned about what they'd been through.
"On Monday he was treating Jayden for pink eye (conjunctivitis), and was worried Britney was to blame. He told me if they had joint custody he'd need two days just to get the children settled down and calm again after their stint away with Britney. He says she keeps them up and has no fixed routine which makes them over-stressed, over-tired and desperate for attention.
"He has tried to get Britney to change her ways, but gets nowhere. He gets so upset when the kids are with her that he won't switch on the TV as he knows there will be news footage of her with them in LA.
"He can't bear to see them looking stressed, traumatized and disorientated as she carts them off on another jaunt around town, seemingly for no reason. That's one of the key reasons why he went for custody in court."
The custody battle began in Los Angeles in September, the month Kevin met Nicole. He landed the first blow when his lawyers presented the LA Superior Court with a dossier about Britney's antics, including alleged lesbian flings, drug abuse, drinking and bad parenting.
We can reveal Kevin included the lesbian allegations after Nicole told him about her flirty encounter with Britney last December. Nicole, who met Kevin at a fashion party at Hollywood club Vice, said: "I told him Britney had once tried to kiss me. We met in the toilets of Beverly Hills restaurant Mr Chows.
"I was doing my make-up and I could feel someone staring at me. It was Britney, in a green dress and looking a bit spaced-out. She looked at me in a provocative way. I found it unnerving, but I smiled to be friendly.
"She then cosied alongside me by the mirror and asked to borrow my lip-gloss. I agreed, put some on my finger and let her rub it on. She rolled her eyes and giggled before suggestively rubbing it over her lips. It became clear she was flirting.
"She then asked for some more and kind of leaned into me and glared intensely. I thought she was hoping to get me closer to her. When I told Kevin he nodded and said, ‘Knowing her, she probably was'. I was shocked that she'd try to pick up someone in a toilet. I presume she's bisexual. I threw away the lip-gloss after that, thinking how tacky her behaviour was." Nicole revealed doting dad Kevin has created a real family home for his children.
She said: "Kevin has made a point of surrounding himself with genuine and pleasant people. Unlike Britney's place, his seven-bedroom mansion is a real home for him and his children.
"He has a housekeeper, cleaner and string of staff in all the time. The nanny comes in when needed and it makes for a real family environment. When you walk in you go into a hallway and there are pictures of him with his kids everywhere. There are the kids' toys stacked up including Sean's plastic truck which he rides around in the house. Jayden has his little cuddly toys in boxes as well. In the backyard the kids have a huge jungle gym activity kit, which they play with."
Nicole revealed Kevin has bedrooms not only for Sean and Jayden but also for his kids by former partner Shar Jackson—Kori, five, and three-year-old Kaleb.
She said: "Each of the lads has a bed in the shape of a Ferrari. The walls are painted with animals and shapes and are full up with toys. Sean's room has a big toy train set around the outside. Jayden still has trouble sleeping, so Kevin has put an extra Ferrari bed in his own bedroom."
Nicole slammed claims that Kevin is a wild-partying gold-digger.
The former Playboy Playmate said: "He may have been a party animal in the past, but I haven't seen him talk about or take drugs. He does like a bourbon and Coke, but he'll have a couple of those and call it a night. He has his home and that's where he spends most of his time now."
This weekend, Britney and Kevin were each spending one day with their children.
On Friday, after a three-hour hearing attended by the couple, Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon postponed a decision on Britney's application to win back custody of the boys. At one point a clearly disturbed Britney ran out of the court yelling: "Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*** it."
Nicole said: "I feel sorry for Britney. She has lost the love of a very caring, passionate and intelligent man. At the moment his priority is fighting for his children."
On Britney’s mental state:
"Britney's behaviour has already put our kids at risk and I can't let things get any worse. She's lost all grasp on reality and is dragging the children through hell. Her mood swings are now so wild that I live in fear of getting a call telling me that she has killed herself. I can't allow her to have custody because I seriously believe she could harm our sons. I've shared her life and I know she's capable of anything with pills and a few drinks inside her."
On Britney’s drinking:
"I'd see her walking around the house guzzling vodka and Coke and looking very tipsy. Then a few moments later, I saw her pick up Jayden and start breast-feeding him. That sent me up the wall. I yelled at her, ‘If you really wanna drink then make sure the baby gets bottled milk, not yours.' I was terrified she was poisoning my son. But she wouldn't listen. She never would. She treated me like one of her employees who bowed to her every whim. "She screamed back, ‘You can't talk to me that way!' But I had to stand up for my children as well as myself.
On what led to the divorce:
"Two weeks later she filed for divorce. I only found out when I heard it as a news item on the radio. I felt she was just trying to teach me a lesson for telling her off about the breast-feeding incident. But when I called she kicked off another row and screamed, ‘You're nothing without me'. I never wanted a divorce but now I knew there was no option."
On Britney’s parenting:
“During the last few months I'd started picking her up on her parenting skills. She'd leave the kids near the pool unsupervised or drive around without belting them in. She always insisted what she was doing was right. There was no getting through to her.”
On Britney's bi-curious pass at Nicole:
“I was doing my make-up and I could feel someone staring at me. It was Britney, in a green dress and looking a bit spaced-out. She looked at me in a provocative way... I thought she was hoping to get me closer to her. When I told Kevin he nodded and said, ‘Knowing her, she probably was'.”
Nicole says:
"Kevin is battling for his kids as he genuinely fears they are at risk. He never shouts and screams about Britney in front of me. He does speak openly about his concerns for his children though." According to Nicole, Kevin is especially worried about the damage Britney's lifestyle is doing to their sons.
She reveals: "I was with Kevin on Monday morning when his kids turned up after spending time with Britney. He was overjoyed to see them, but deeply concerned about what they'd been through.
"On Monday he was treating Jayden for pink eye (conjunctivitis), and was worried Britney was to blame. He told me if they had joint custody he'd need two days just to get the children settled down and calm again after their stint away with Britney. He says she keeps them up and has no fixed routine which makes them over-stressed, over-tired and desperate for attention.
"He has tried to get Britney to change her ways, but gets nowhere. He gets so upset when the kids are with her that he won't switch on the TV as he knows there will be news footage of her with them in LA.
"He can't bear to see them looking stressed, traumatized and disorientated as she carts them off on another jaunt around town, seemingly for no reason. That's one of the key reasons why he went for custody in court."
The custody battle began in Los Angeles in September, the month Kevin met Nicole. He landed the first blow when his lawyers presented the LA Superior Court with a dossier about Britney's antics, including alleged lesbian flings, drug abuse, drinking and bad parenting.
We can reveal Kevin included the lesbian allegations after Nicole told him about her flirty encounter with Britney last December. Nicole, who met Kevin at a fashion party at Hollywood club Vice, said: "I told him Britney had once tried to kiss me. We met in the toilets of Beverly Hills restaurant Mr Chows.
"I was doing my make-up and I could feel someone staring at me. It was Britney, in a green dress and looking a bit spaced-out. She looked at me in a provocative way. I found it unnerving, but I smiled to be friendly.
"She then cosied alongside me by the mirror and asked to borrow my lip-gloss. I agreed, put some on my finger and let her rub it on. She rolled her eyes and giggled before suggestively rubbing it over her lips. It became clear she was flirting.
"She then asked for some more and kind of leaned into me and glared intensely. I thought she was hoping to get me closer to her. When I told Kevin he nodded and said, ‘Knowing her, she probably was'. I was shocked that she'd try to pick up someone in a toilet. I presume she's bisexual. I threw away the lip-gloss after that, thinking how tacky her behaviour was." Nicole revealed doting dad Kevin has created a real family home for his children.
She said: "Kevin has made a point of surrounding himself with genuine and pleasant people. Unlike Britney's place, his seven-bedroom mansion is a real home for him and his children.
"He has a housekeeper, cleaner and string of staff in all the time. The nanny comes in when needed and it makes for a real family environment. When you walk in you go into a hallway and there are pictures of him with his kids everywhere. There are the kids' toys stacked up including Sean's plastic truck which he rides around in the house. Jayden has his little cuddly toys in boxes as well. In the backyard the kids have a huge jungle gym activity kit, which they play with."
Nicole revealed Kevin has bedrooms not only for Sean and Jayden but also for his kids by former partner Shar Jackson—Kori, five, and three-year-old Kaleb.
She said: "Each of the lads has a bed in the shape of a Ferrari. The walls are painted with animals and shapes and are full up with toys. Sean's room has a big toy train set around the outside. Jayden still has trouble sleeping, so Kevin has put an extra Ferrari bed in his own bedroom."
Nicole slammed claims that Kevin is a wild-partying gold-digger.
The former Playboy Playmate said: "He may have been a party animal in the past, but I haven't seen him talk about or take drugs. He does like a bourbon and Coke, but he'll have a couple of those and call it a night. He has his home and that's where he spends most of his time now."
This weekend, Britney and Kevin were each spending one day with their children.
On Friday, after a three-hour hearing attended by the couple, Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon postponed a decision on Britney's application to win back custody of the boys. At one point a clearly disturbed Britney ran out of the court yelling: "Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*** it."
Nicole said: "I feel sorry for Britney. She has lost the love of a very caring, passionate and intelligent man. At the moment his priority is fighting for his children."
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
"The Discerning Gentleman's Guide to Gangbang Etiquette"
by The Cowboy Detective
So you've been invited to an orgy. Congratulations!
The following guide should help you navigate the treacherous waters of gangbang etiquette and avoid those common faux pas that can turn perfectly delightful public sex with random strangers into a semen-stained social embarrassment.
What To Bring
Most orgy invitations will specify what, if anything, should be brought by the attendees. Read everything carved into the bathroom stall door to make sure you didn't miss any important details. Aside from a raging boner and a dish to pass, here is a list of other things you might want to consider:
-Cock ring
-Personal lubricant
-Shitload of hand sanitizer
-Armadillo, declawed
-Duct tape
-Viking helmet
-Not AIDS
Arriving
Always be punctual when attending a gangbang. (This will be the only time during the evening when coming early is actually encouraged!) Remember, there are dozens of people you don't know waiting for you to stick parts of your body in them. It is rude to make them wait. Showing up late not only reflects poorly on you, but also prevents you from getting in on the action from the beginning. Few things are more awkward than trying to strike up an ice-breaking conversation with a woman who already has some other dude's junk jammed in her throat.
And while it's not exactly considered rude to already have your cock out when you arrive, you should make the effort to dress it up a bit. The sight of a naked man with an engorged penis unceremoniously stumbling into a room full of strangers can be unpleasant and awkward. A little pirate hat or some flame decals down the sides are nice touches and make it more fun for everyone.
Choosing Partners
As stated above, it is best to arrive early. This will allow you the opportunity to meet and assess potential partners, and discuss any specialties, favorites, and taboos. Nothing is more embarrassing than finding out the hard way your partner does not enjoy it when you shit on her back.
Also, don't be afraid to learn some names! Instead of saying, "Take this face fucking, you cockslut!" most women prefer that you say, "Take this face fucking, Pam! You cockslut." It's the personal touch that will guarantee you future opportunities to fuck her face.
Be open-minded with your selections. While most men will be lining up to throw a shot into the attractive women, you should find yourself a woman who, while being substantially uglier, will most likely have low enough self-esteem to let you do some seriously fucked up shit to her. Remember, what a woman looks like is entirely inconsequential. Aside from being the place where she keeps a suckhole, her face has little purpose beyond serving as a resting place for your fatigued genitals.
A gangbang is all about variety. Try not to get locked into the same four or five snatches and buttholes. Mix it up a little bit!
The Fucking
Once an orgy begins, it quickly becomes a room full of flying dicks and tits, and it's easy to get caught up in all the dick-and-tit-flying and forget your manners. Here are some guidelines to help you avoid common mistakes usually made while fucking.
A Modicum of Foreplay is Always Appreciated
At a gangbang, it is certainly not expected that you bring a woman flowers, but on the other hand, you don't want to just mount her and start jackhammering her twat like a monkey on angel dust. Women in general like a little romance and tenderness, and some doped-up skank writhing around in a dimly-lit furnished basement is no exception.
Mouth kissing is usually acceptable, but very risky in a group sex setting, and therefore not recommended. Depending on where her mouth was (or more importantly what was in it) just prior to your encounter will make the difference between a pleasant pre-sex interaction and getting a mouthful of cum belch. Kissing other parts of her body runs similar risks. Absent a black light, you must assume any woman with whom you engage is currently coated entirely in dried spunk.
Fondling and rubbing is a tolerable solution, but still runs the risk of getting semen into your eyes, mouth, and mucous membranes through incidental secondary contact. A quick tit slap or a poke in the neck with your cock will alleviate much of this risk and still accomplish the goal of tactile arousal.
Remember, as much as you want to be polite and get a woman properly aroused, you also want to avoid touching her jizz-sprayed body as much as possible.
Assplay is by Invitation Only
Whether it's your big toe, car keys, or some other chick's face, it is the height of rudeness to stick anything into someone else's asshole without permission. A simple, "Pardon me miss, but do you mind if I slam this into your pooper?" will not only be appreciated for its thoughtfulness, but can also help prevent a situation where you are injured by something that might already be up there. You must treat each asshole you encounter with the respect it deserves.
Don't Fuck Other Dudes
I really can't stress this enough. I know when you've got a boner that could punch a hole through a cinder block and the only available place to stick it is some other guy's stink winker, it seems pretty tempting. But remember, this is a gangbang, not Ben Affleck's tool shed. Try to exhibit some class.
Aside from the obvious anal and oral sex restrictions, dick-on-dick contact is also strictly prohibited. Incidental cock bumping is to be expected, but never acknowledged, and never prolonged. The commonly accepted time limit for dick touching is about three seconds.
Understandably, there are certain multiple-partner sexual positions where the men outnumber the women that will involve some inevitable ball touching and sack friction. This is unavoidable, and therefore acceptable. But again, sexual contact with other men should never be intentional and always kept to a minimum. And remember, never, ever make eye contact with a man whose genitals are touching yours. That moment could haunt you for the rest of your life.
The exception to this rule is, of course, if it was explicitly stated to be "that kind of party" and you're into "that sort of thing." Then you can do whatever you want, you fucking homo.
Always Thank Your Partner
It is a widespread misconception that not ejaculating directly into a woman's eyes or nostrils is thanks enough for letting you work her lady parts like a prizefighter on a speed bag. The rules of common courtesy say otherwise. Just because you did things to her that wouldn’t be appropriate to do to a goat at an Alabama house-warming is no reason to be rude.
A simple "Thanks for letting me fuck you so much," followed by a cock-slap to the ass is acceptable, if a bit curt. Remember, a little extra politeness doesn’t cost you anything, and can make some ridiculous jizzrag feel good about herself for a change.
"I came so hard I think my dick went back in time," or "If Jesus had a pussy as sweet as yours, the Jews might not have murdered him," are imaginative and memorable ways to express your gratitude. Remember, a cheap whore is always a good time, but a cheap whore who feels appreciated makes a more pleasant evening for everyone.
Don't Touch the Stereo
You are a guest and it is disrespectful to your host. Also, it's probably covered in semen.
The Grand Finale
This, of course, is the whole reason why you’re here: to orgasm in public. It’s easy to get lost in the moment and do something that will embarrass you or other guests at the fuck party. Don’t let your manners shoot out of your dick along with all that busted nut!
First comes the announcement. It’s good to make a show of it to let people know how much you are enjoying yourself, and it also allows any nearby women to get their faces into position. Simply yelling, "I’m coming!" is trite and clichéd. Something more colorful like, "Sweet Molly, it’s a cold night in Tucson!" or "Eat my dick bullets!" can serve as a real attention getter and let everyone know how excited the idea of ejaculating in front of them makes you. This will get them excited as well, and everyone will have a good time as you spray the room with your ball juice.
Next is to carefully consider where to launch your cock splatter. It is a good idea to practice at home ahead of time as much as possible so you can properly determine distance and volume. With those measurements in mind, always try to aim your exploding man cannon onto as many women within range as possible.
Don’t worry if the woman is not facing you or doesn’t seem particularly interested in having you shoot your love chowder onto her. Rules of gangbang etiquette dictate that your earlier announcement is more than sufficient warning. After all, if a woman doesn’t want you to blow dick snot all over her back and into her hair, why is she even there?
And it is very important to remember that the restrictions against sexual contact with other men include not jizzing on each other. If you and another male participant are preparing to porkblast on the same chick at the same time, it is always preferable to take turns. If that does not seem feasible, then you must always make sure to not position yourselves directly across from one another and aim down. Nothing ruins an otherwise pleasant evening faster than a navel-full of some other guy’s splooge.
Final Thought
With a little practice and mindfulness, proper gangbang etiquette will become second nature. The most important thing to remember is to have fun! After all, what kind of hopeless faggot can't enjoy a night of banging some nasty-ass bitches?
Happy humping!
from http://www.juvenilecomedy.com/gangbang.htm
So you've been invited to an orgy. Congratulations!
The following guide should help you navigate the treacherous waters of gangbang etiquette and avoid those common faux pas that can turn perfectly delightful public sex with random strangers into a semen-stained social embarrassment.
What To Bring
Most orgy invitations will specify what, if anything, should be brought by the attendees. Read everything carved into the bathroom stall door to make sure you didn't miss any important details. Aside from a raging boner and a dish to pass, here is a list of other things you might want to consider:
-Cock ring
-Personal lubricant
-Shitload of hand sanitizer
-Armadillo, declawed
-Duct tape
-Viking helmet
-Not AIDS
Arriving
Always be punctual when attending a gangbang. (This will be the only time during the evening when coming early is actually encouraged!) Remember, there are dozens of people you don't know waiting for you to stick parts of your body in them. It is rude to make them wait. Showing up late not only reflects poorly on you, but also prevents you from getting in on the action from the beginning. Few things are more awkward than trying to strike up an ice-breaking conversation with a woman who already has some other dude's junk jammed in her throat.
And while it's not exactly considered rude to already have your cock out when you arrive, you should make the effort to dress it up a bit. The sight of a naked man with an engorged penis unceremoniously stumbling into a room full of strangers can be unpleasant and awkward. A little pirate hat or some flame decals down the sides are nice touches and make it more fun for everyone.
Choosing Partners
As stated above, it is best to arrive early. This will allow you the opportunity to meet and assess potential partners, and discuss any specialties, favorites, and taboos. Nothing is more embarrassing than finding out the hard way your partner does not enjoy it when you shit on her back.
Also, don't be afraid to learn some names! Instead of saying, "Take this face fucking, you cockslut!" most women prefer that you say, "Take this face fucking, Pam! You cockslut." It's the personal touch that will guarantee you future opportunities to fuck her face.
Be open-minded with your selections. While most men will be lining up to throw a shot into the attractive women, you should find yourself a woman who, while being substantially uglier, will most likely have low enough self-esteem to let you do some seriously fucked up shit to her. Remember, what a woman looks like is entirely inconsequential. Aside from being the place where she keeps a suckhole, her face has little purpose beyond serving as a resting place for your fatigued genitals.
A gangbang is all about variety. Try not to get locked into the same four or five snatches and buttholes. Mix it up a little bit!
The Fucking
Once an orgy begins, it quickly becomes a room full of flying dicks and tits, and it's easy to get caught up in all the dick-and-tit-flying and forget your manners. Here are some guidelines to help you avoid common mistakes usually made while fucking.
A Modicum of Foreplay is Always Appreciated
At a gangbang, it is certainly not expected that you bring a woman flowers, but on the other hand, you don't want to just mount her and start jackhammering her twat like a monkey on angel dust. Women in general like a little romance and tenderness, and some doped-up skank writhing around in a dimly-lit furnished basement is no exception.
Mouth kissing is usually acceptable, but very risky in a group sex setting, and therefore not recommended. Depending on where her mouth was (or more importantly what was in it) just prior to your encounter will make the difference between a pleasant pre-sex interaction and getting a mouthful of cum belch. Kissing other parts of her body runs similar risks. Absent a black light, you must assume any woman with whom you engage is currently coated entirely in dried spunk.
Fondling and rubbing is a tolerable solution, but still runs the risk of getting semen into your eyes, mouth, and mucous membranes through incidental secondary contact. A quick tit slap or a poke in the neck with your cock will alleviate much of this risk and still accomplish the goal of tactile arousal.
Remember, as much as you want to be polite and get a woman properly aroused, you also want to avoid touching her jizz-sprayed body as much as possible.
Assplay is by Invitation Only
Whether it's your big toe, car keys, or some other chick's face, it is the height of rudeness to stick anything into someone else's asshole without permission. A simple, "Pardon me miss, but do you mind if I slam this into your pooper?" will not only be appreciated for its thoughtfulness, but can also help prevent a situation where you are injured by something that might already be up there. You must treat each asshole you encounter with the respect it deserves.
Don't Fuck Other Dudes
I really can't stress this enough. I know when you've got a boner that could punch a hole through a cinder block and the only available place to stick it is some other guy's stink winker, it seems pretty tempting. But remember, this is a gangbang, not Ben Affleck's tool shed. Try to exhibit some class.
Aside from the obvious anal and oral sex restrictions, dick-on-dick contact is also strictly prohibited. Incidental cock bumping is to be expected, but never acknowledged, and never prolonged. The commonly accepted time limit for dick touching is about three seconds.
Understandably, there are certain multiple-partner sexual positions where the men outnumber the women that will involve some inevitable ball touching and sack friction. This is unavoidable, and therefore acceptable. But again, sexual contact with other men should never be intentional and always kept to a minimum. And remember, never, ever make eye contact with a man whose genitals are touching yours. That moment could haunt you for the rest of your life.
The exception to this rule is, of course, if it was explicitly stated to be "that kind of party" and you're into "that sort of thing." Then you can do whatever you want, you fucking homo.
Always Thank Your Partner
It is a widespread misconception that not ejaculating directly into a woman's eyes or nostrils is thanks enough for letting you work her lady parts like a prizefighter on a speed bag. The rules of common courtesy say otherwise. Just because you did things to her that wouldn’t be appropriate to do to a goat at an Alabama house-warming is no reason to be rude.
A simple "Thanks for letting me fuck you so much," followed by a cock-slap to the ass is acceptable, if a bit curt. Remember, a little extra politeness doesn’t cost you anything, and can make some ridiculous jizzrag feel good about herself for a change.
"I came so hard I think my dick went back in time," or "If Jesus had a pussy as sweet as yours, the Jews might not have murdered him," are imaginative and memorable ways to express your gratitude. Remember, a cheap whore is always a good time, but a cheap whore who feels appreciated makes a more pleasant evening for everyone.
Don't Touch the Stereo
You are a guest and it is disrespectful to your host. Also, it's probably covered in semen.
The Grand Finale
This, of course, is the whole reason why you’re here: to orgasm in public. It’s easy to get lost in the moment and do something that will embarrass you or other guests at the fuck party. Don’t let your manners shoot out of your dick along with all that busted nut!
First comes the announcement. It’s good to make a show of it to let people know how much you are enjoying yourself, and it also allows any nearby women to get their faces into position. Simply yelling, "I’m coming!" is trite and clichéd. Something more colorful like, "Sweet Molly, it’s a cold night in Tucson!" or "Eat my dick bullets!" can serve as a real attention getter and let everyone know how excited the idea of ejaculating in front of them makes you. This will get them excited as well, and everyone will have a good time as you spray the room with your ball juice.
Next is to carefully consider where to launch your cock splatter. It is a good idea to practice at home ahead of time as much as possible so you can properly determine distance and volume. With those measurements in mind, always try to aim your exploding man cannon onto as many women within range as possible.
Don’t worry if the woman is not facing you or doesn’t seem particularly interested in having you shoot your love chowder onto her. Rules of gangbang etiquette dictate that your earlier announcement is more than sufficient warning. After all, if a woman doesn’t want you to blow dick snot all over her back and into her hair, why is she even there?
And it is very important to remember that the restrictions against sexual contact with other men include not jizzing on each other. If you and another male participant are preparing to porkblast on the same chick at the same time, it is always preferable to take turns. If that does not seem feasible, then you must always make sure to not position yourselves directly across from one another and aim down. Nothing ruins an otherwise pleasant evening faster than a navel-full of some other guy’s splooge.
Final Thought
With a little practice and mindfulness, proper gangbang etiquette will become second nature. The most important thing to remember is to have fun! After all, what kind of hopeless faggot can't enjoy a night of banging some nasty-ass bitches?
Happy humping!
from http://www.juvenilecomedy.com/gangbang.htm
Friday, October 05, 2007
Check Out This Great Deal On CraigsList!
Click Here!
Original 1962 Gibson Air Guitar - $750
Reply to: sale-440860587@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-05, 9:49AM PDT
Well I recently got a new job and I never have time to play anymore so I guess its time to get rid of my baby...This is an original 1962 Gibson Les Paul air guitar...NOT a knock off!!! I've seen replicas sell for $500+...imagine what you could get for the real deal!! It's got an amazing sound and the quality of craftsmanship is unmatched. A true one of a kind piece! I have an air amp that I'll throw in for free to whoever the lucky buyer is. I posted pics below so you could see how amazing this deal really is. Don't hesitate cause this baby will not last.
Original 1962 Gibson Air Guitar - $750
Reply to: sale-440860587@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-05, 9:49AM PDT
Well I recently got a new job and I never have time to play anymore so I guess its time to get rid of my baby...This is an original 1962 Gibson Les Paul air guitar...NOT a knock off!!! I've seen replicas sell for $500+...imagine what you could get for the real deal!! It's got an amazing sound and the quality of craftsmanship is unmatched. A true one of a kind piece! I have an air amp that I'll throw in for free to whoever the lucky buyer is. I posted pics below so you could see how amazing this deal really is. Don't hesitate cause this baby will not last.
Monday, October 01, 2007
EVA LONGORIA SEX TAPE ON THE INTERNET?
If the video is real, it could become the most sought porn movie on the Internet.
Eva Longoria has been panicking the last couple of days because her sex video started circling the Internet. It has been rumoured that the “juicy” video contains explicit sex scenes between Eva and her husband, Tony Parker.
If the video is real it could become the most sought porn film on the Internet after the well-known “One Night in Paris” with Paris Hilton in the lead role.
Currently the video is available for viewing only on some American web sites for a fee.
Eva Longoria has been panicking the last couple of days because her sex video started circling the Internet. It has been rumoured that the “juicy” video contains explicit sex scenes between Eva and her husband, Tony Parker.
If the video is real it could become the most sought porn film on the Internet after the well-known “One Night in Paris” with Paris Hilton in the lead role.
Currently the video is available for viewing only on some American web sites for a fee.
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