Monday, January 22, 2007

Jessica Drake's Star Bio

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Ron Jeremy - Open And Candid

DECEMBER 2006

Ron Jeremy - Open and Candid

Ron Jeremy could hardly believe that tv’s The Surreal Life was interested in having the undisputed legend of taboo adult smut on their popular tv show. The beloved “Hedgehog” turned out a performance that many say stole the show amongst his co-stars of former mainstreams superstardom such as Vanilla Ice, Tammy Faye, Traci Bingham, Corey Feldman and rock singer Vince Neil. Ron was seemingly idolized by the others trapped in the house. One co-star, Traci was obsessed with Ron’s famed history and gifted endowment.

She really, really wanted to see Ron’s swingin’ hammer o’ love, and kept trying to disrobe him every single day that they were cooped up. Traci also dug his manly chest, complimenting him and stating that his hairy chest is attractive. Ron seemed perplexed that anyone would find his hairy man-boobs appealing, then realizes that she not much smarter than a plant. Only because he’s Ron!

Their adventures took them to a nudist resort where Ron felt more that comfortable. Not every cast memeber felt as “at home” as Ron-Tammy Faye practically had break down and Vanilla, after years of bragging about his enormous schlong, felt a bit nervous since it was now judgement day. Put not Mr. Jeremy, he’s cool with that, because he's packing a third leg in his tighty whities. While Ice says that he's all for getting naked, but only with his wife around, and not with a bunch of people staring at him. Being a true gentleman, Ron elected not to show off his unit. Ice points out that even though Ron's a porn star, he doesn't go around waggling his woody at everyone, which is a comforting thought.

Ron didn't want to get nude yet, because he knew his eventual nudity could be used as a bargaining chip later in the game. For the sake of all the viewers, Ron agrees to Traci that if she removes her top, he'll whip out his moneymaker. In another attempt at exposing this top heavy hottie, Ron asks Traci if she's wearing underwear, and she says she's not. So he keeps dropping a towel on the floor to sneak a peek between her legs.

Finally, Ron’s coaxing resulted in some form of celebrity nudity: At the dinner table, after Ron reiterates his offer of shared nakedness, Trishelle takes off her towel. As she explains, she's twenty-three, and she always does stupid things, so this is no big deal for her. In fact, she's happy that she's nude. Ron kept his end of the bargin, living up to his reputation-sporting the "Cadillac of Cocks," tagged by a co-star. Dispite Ron’s playful attempts Traci reneges the deal. The entire cast joined Ron in this arguement, trying to make her feel guilty for not getting naked, but it doesn't work. We all appreciate Ron’s diligence, perhaps there will be more Ron Reality someday soon!