In no particular order...
1. POKE-A-HOT-ASS
2. YO QUIERO TACO SMELL
3. DUDE, WHERE'S MY DILDO?
4. BOWLIN' IN HER COLON
5. ASS-HOLE O MIO
6. FUCK THE CANUCK
7. MOULIN SPLOOGE
8. GERMAN WHORE FARE
9. SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ... SHE'S A VAGITARIAN
10. ONE FELL INTO THE POO-POO'S NEST
11. POKE 'ER MON
12. RIMMERAMA
13. HOOTERS AND THE BLOWJOBS
14. HUNG WANKENSTEIN
15. SHRIMPIN' LOBSTER SAUCE
16. AMERICAN BOOTY
17. E-THREE - THE EXTRA TESTICLE
18. BUMPIN DONUTS
19. H.R. MUFF N' STUFF
20. MAY THE FORESKIN BE WITH YOU
21. WILLIE WANKER AND THE FUDGE PACKING FACTORY
22. ADVENTURES OF THE FART BITCHES
23. BEVERLY HILLS 9021-HO
24. I SAW MOMMY EATING SANTA CLAUS
25. 21 HUMP STREET
26. SPERMS OF ENDEARMENT
27. YANK MY DOODLE, IT'S A DANDY
28. INDIANA JOAN AND THE BLACK HOLE OF MAMMOO
29. SHAVING RYAN'S PRIVATES
30. EDWARD PENISHANDS
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Jenna Jameson And Her New Boobs Retiring???
Jenna Jameson is retiring from making adult videos. Sigh.
She will continue to run her online business, but the blonde wants to focus on new projects, like a Hollywood biopic, a comic book and a clothing line, due out next year.
Jameson also decided to have her breast implants removed recently, and she sat down with Us Weekly to talk about why she did it.
Here are some highlights!
On why she had her implants removed: “When I had implants, I felt uncomfortable. I would be shy at the beach. I know it sounds funny, but I’d wear high-necked clothes – unless I was at an adult-film convention. So I thought, Why don’t I be who I am and get my real ones back?”
On how removing the implants changed her: “Even for women with naturally large boobs, getting a reduction is so freeing. I feel like I can stand up straighter…before, when I jogged, I had to hold my boobs. I looked like I was molesting myself!”
On how she felt postsurgery: “Ecstatic. The first thing I did when I got home was open my bra. I wasn’t supposed to but I did. I was so happy, I cried. It was like looking into the mirror when I was 17.”
On whether she’s done with porn forever: “Yes. A hundred percent.”
On who will play her in a movie about her life: “I would love Scarlett Johansson to play me. I think Rachel McAdams is amazing, and Sienna Miller.”
On celebrating her one-year anniversary with boyfriend Tito: “I had my surgery while he was in Iraq on a USO tour. He was so excited: ‘I’m coming home to brand new boobies.’”
She will continue to run her online business, but the blonde wants to focus on new projects, like a Hollywood biopic, a comic book and a clothing line, due out next year.
Jameson also decided to have her breast implants removed recently, and she sat down with Us Weekly to talk about why she did it.
Here are some highlights!
On why she had her implants removed: “When I had implants, I felt uncomfortable. I would be shy at the beach. I know it sounds funny, but I’d wear high-necked clothes – unless I was at an adult-film convention. So I thought, Why don’t I be who I am and get my real ones back?”
On how removing the implants changed her: “Even for women with naturally large boobs, getting a reduction is so freeing. I feel like I can stand up straighter…before, when I jogged, I had to hold my boobs. I looked like I was molesting myself!”
On how she felt postsurgery: “Ecstatic. The first thing I did when I got home was open my bra. I wasn’t supposed to but I did. I was so happy, I cried. It was like looking into the mirror when I was 17.”
On whether she’s done with porn forever: “Yes. A hundred percent.”
On who will play her in a movie about her life: “I would love Scarlett Johansson to play me. I think Rachel McAdams is amazing, and Sienna Miller.”
On celebrating her one-year anniversary with boyfriend Tito: “I had my surgery while he was in Iraq on a USO tour. He was so excited: ‘I’m coming home to brand new boobies.’”
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Weekend Fun: The Humping Dog Flash Drive
It costs roughly 9 bucks. Of course the movie above, in no way does this ultimate stocking stuffer justice.… Unfortunately, there’s no “Stop Humping” switch, so it just doesn’t stop - kinda like your neighbor’s dog.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Why I Fired My Secretary -
Last Week Was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very Well Waking Up That Morning. I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be Pleasant And Say, "Happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For Me.
As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "Happy Birthday."
I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will Remember. My Kids Came to Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word. So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat Despondent.
As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had Remembered.
I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane Knocked On My Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me." I Said, "Thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day. Let's Go!"
We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would Go. We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had Two Martinis Each And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously.
On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day.. We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?"
I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?"
She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment"
After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And Said, "Boss, If You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be Right Back."
"Ok." I Nervously Replied.
She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes, She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake... Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And Co-Workers, All Singing "Happy Birthday".
And I Just Sat There..
On The Couch...
Naked.
As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "Happy Birthday."
I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will Remember. My Kids Came to Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word. So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat Despondent.
As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had Remembered.
I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane Knocked On My Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me." I Said, "Thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day. Let's Go!"
We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would Go. We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had Two Martinis Each And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously.
On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day.. We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?"
I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?"
She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment"
After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And Said, "Boss, If You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be Right Back."
"Ok." I Nervously Replied.
She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes, She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake... Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And Co-Workers, All Singing "Happy Birthday".
And I Just Sat There..
On The Couch...
Naked.
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