Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Weekend Fun: The Humping Dog Flash Drive
It costs roughly 9 bucks. Of course the movie above, in no way does this ultimate stocking stuffer justice.… Unfortunately, there’s no “Stop Humping” switch, so it just doesn’t stop - kinda like your neighbor’s dog.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Why I Fired My Secretary -
Last Week Was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very Well Waking Up That Morning. I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be Pleasant And Say, "Happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For Me.
As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "Happy Birthday."
I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will Remember. My Kids Came to Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word. So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat Despondent.
As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had Remembered.
I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane Knocked On My Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me." I Said, "Thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day. Let's Go!"
We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would Go. We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had Two Martinis Each And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously.
On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day.. We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?"
I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?"
She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment"
After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And Said, "Boss, If You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be Right Back."
"Ok." I Nervously Replied.
She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes, She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake... Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And Co-Workers, All Singing "Happy Birthday".
And I Just Sat There..
On The Couch...
Naked.
As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "Happy Birthday."
I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will Remember. My Kids Came to Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word. So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat Despondent.
As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had Remembered.
I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane Knocked On My Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me." I Said, "Thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day. Let's Go!"
We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would Go. We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had Two Martinis Each And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously.
On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day.. We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?"
I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?"
She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment"
After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And Said, "Boss, If You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be Right Back."
"Ok." I Nervously Replied.
She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes, She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake... Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And Co-Workers, All Singing "Happy Birthday".
And I Just Sat There..
On The Couch...
Naked.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Lindsay Lohan Busted AGAIN!
BEVERLY HILLS, California — Troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan was busted early Tuesday for possession of cocaine, driving under the influence, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving on a suspended license -- her second substance-related arrest in a matter of months, TMZ.com reported.
Lohan's blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13, well over the .08 legal limit, and cocaine was found in her pants pocket, cops told TMZ.com.
The 21-year-old actress’ arrest happened about 2:15 a.m. in Santa Monica, Calif., near Pico Boulevard and Main Street, according to TMZ.com.
Lohan checked out of a Malibu rehab center on July 13, after a stay of more than six weeks. She has been wearing an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet, going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and receiving therapy ever since.
The "Mean Girls" star, who turned 21 on July 2, checked into the swank facility after a wild Memorial Day weekend during which she crashed her Mercedes Benz into a curb, was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and was photographed slumped in the passenger seat of a friend's car.
Just last Thursday, Lohan turned herself in to police to be booked on suspicion of driving under the influence during the Memorial Day weekend car crash, police said.
Accompanied by her attorney, Lohan surrendered herself at the Beverly Hills Police Department to be fingerprinted and photographed, said Officer Brian Ballieweg.
She was booked on suspicion of a DUI with a blood alcohol level above .08, California's legal limit, and on suspicion of misdemeanor hit and run, Ballieweg said.
After the Memorial Day incident, police said she had been arrested for investigation of driving under the influence, though she wasn't formally booked on the allegation until Thursday.
The actress was released on her own recognizance. A court date was scheduled for August 24.
Lohan said in January she had checked into a rehabilitation center for substance abuse treatment.
Earlier this month, Lohan's publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik said the star was "doing great."
"Lindsay is working hard on her sobriety and we are all supporting her," she said.
Lohan's blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13, well over the .08 legal limit, and cocaine was found in her pants pocket, cops told TMZ.com.
The 21-year-old actress’ arrest happened about 2:15 a.m. in Santa Monica, Calif., near Pico Boulevard and Main Street, according to TMZ.com.
Lohan checked out of a Malibu rehab center on July 13, after a stay of more than six weeks. She has been wearing an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet, going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and receiving therapy ever since.
The "Mean Girls" star, who turned 21 on July 2, checked into the swank facility after a wild Memorial Day weekend during which she crashed her Mercedes Benz into a curb, was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and was photographed slumped in the passenger seat of a friend's car.
Just last Thursday, Lohan turned herself in to police to be booked on suspicion of driving under the influence during the Memorial Day weekend car crash, police said.
Accompanied by her attorney, Lohan surrendered herself at the Beverly Hills Police Department to be fingerprinted and photographed, said Officer Brian Ballieweg.
She was booked on suspicion of a DUI with a blood alcohol level above .08, California's legal limit, and on suspicion of misdemeanor hit and run, Ballieweg said.
After the Memorial Day incident, police said she had been arrested for investigation of driving under the influence, though she wasn't formally booked on the allegation until Thursday.
The actress was released on her own recognizance. A court date was scheduled for August 24.
Lohan said in January she had checked into a rehabilitation center for substance abuse treatment.
Earlier this month, Lohan's publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik said the star was "doing great."
"Lindsay is working hard on her sobriety and we are all supporting her," she said.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
METRO RELAUNCHES TOXXXIC LINE WITH NEW PACKAGING
CHATSWORTH, Calif. -
Metro Interactive has set a July 13 street date for Slime Ballin', a 2-disc collector's edition DVD that marks the return of gonzo imprint Toxxxic Entertainment following a two-year hiatus.
Touting the new release as "the raunchiest and most visually interesting production from Toxxxic to date," Metro spared no expense to create a graphically striking DVD package.
"We wanted to come up with a package that would correlate to some of the things that make this movie different," said Christian Mann, Metro's VP of Sales & Marketing. "Knowing it was filled with heavy-duty raunch, as is the hallmark of Toxxxic Entertainment, our artists were charged with making a package that would showcase the scope of the production. There was no way to display all the images
on a traditional DVD insert sleeve. Since the word Toxxxic is evocative of something radioactive, and we had this incredible black-light scene, the decision to go with a six color neon design package was an obvious one. While we were at it we went all the way and embossed it to give the consumer a great-looking, great-feeling package - something worthy of the contents."
Director Vincent Voss described Slime Ballin' as "a sexually charged acid trip."
"Most people when it comes to gonzo want to light it like a hospital operating room," Voss told AVN. "This movie is a very high-intensity, stylized vignette production that is splashed with a lot of color. The sex is very hard, but people that have seen the trailer on AVN have told me that it's the black lights, the color and the creepiness that put it over the top."
In keeping with the movie's trippy, atmospheric visual style, Metro is promoting the re-launch of Toxxxic with a black light poster campaign. Mann told AVN that the company plans several deluxe edition DVD release in the future with a similar approach.
Slime Ballin' stars Daisy Marie, Kaiya Lynn, Carmel Moore, Lela Star, Nikki Benz, Sativa Rose, Tiffany Sweet, Austin Kincaid, Ben English, Mick Blue, Steve Holmes, Marco Banderas and Scott Nails.
Each copy of Slime Ballin' includes a bonus disc with a surprise full-length Toxxxic feature. Shot in widescreen hi-def, the disc includes behind the scenes vignettes, trailers and instant pop-shot access menu options.
Metro Interactive has set a July 13 street date for Slime Ballin', a 2-disc collector's edition DVD that marks the return of gonzo imprint Toxxxic Entertainment following a two-year hiatus.
Touting the new release as "the raunchiest and most visually interesting production from Toxxxic to date," Metro spared no expense to create a graphically striking DVD package.
"We wanted to come up with a package that would correlate to some of the things that make this movie different," said Christian Mann, Metro's VP of Sales & Marketing. "Knowing it was filled with heavy-duty raunch, as is the hallmark of Toxxxic Entertainment, our artists were charged with making a package that would showcase the scope of the production. There was no way to display all the images
on a traditional DVD insert sleeve. Since the word Toxxxic is evocative of something radioactive, and we had this incredible black-light scene, the decision to go with a six color neon design package was an obvious one. While we were at it we went all the way and embossed it to give the consumer a great-looking, great-feeling package - something worthy of the contents."
Director Vincent Voss described Slime Ballin' as "a sexually charged acid trip."
"Most people when it comes to gonzo want to light it like a hospital operating room," Voss told AVN. "This movie is a very high-intensity, stylized vignette production that is splashed with a lot of color. The sex is very hard, but people that have seen the trailer on AVN have told me that it's the black lights, the color and the creepiness that put it over the top."
In keeping with the movie's trippy, atmospheric visual style, Metro is promoting the re-launch of Toxxxic with a black light poster campaign. Mann told AVN that the company plans several deluxe edition DVD release in the future with a similar approach.
Slime Ballin' stars Daisy Marie, Kaiya Lynn, Carmel Moore, Lela Star, Nikki Benz, Sativa Rose, Tiffany Sweet, Austin Kincaid, Ben English, Mick Blue, Steve Holmes, Marco Banderas and Scott Nails.
Each copy of Slime Ballin' includes a bonus disc with a surprise full-length Toxxxic feature. Shot in widescreen hi-def, the disc includes behind the scenes vignettes, trailers and instant pop-shot access menu options.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Wanna Be In Porn?
Click Here For The Boxcover Image
HOW TO BREAK INTO THE PORN INDUSTRY IS NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE AT AMAZON.COM, ORDER YOUR COPY NOW IN ADVANCE.
WITHIN THIS REVEALING LOOK INTO THE WORLD OF ADULT ENTERTAINMENT, FORMER ADULT FILM DIRECTOR C. L. GREGORY EXPLAINS HOW SEX HAS BECOME AN ECONOMIC FORCE IN TODAY'S MARKETPLACE. IN EACH EYE OPENING CHAPTER YOU'LL DISCOVER HOW ADULT FILMS ARE MADE, THE HISTORY OF ADULT FILMS, THE BUSINESS OF SEX AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW TO MAKE MONEY MAKING PORN. YOU'LL FIND OUT WHO THE REAL PLAYERS ARE IN THE BUSINESS AND HOW TO CONTACT THEM. IT'S EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN CONSIDERING A CAREER IN THE SEX INDUSTRY. WHETHER YOU'RE AN ASPIRING ADULT ACTOR, DIRECTOR, OR PORN STARLETT WANNABE, HOW TO BREAK INTO THE PORN INDUSTRY WILL GIVE YOU THE TOOLS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN MAKING YOUR FIRST ADULT FILM AND HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ONE OF THE FASTEST GROWING SEGMENTS OF THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.
HOW TO BREAK INTO THE PORN INDUSTRY IS NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE AT AMAZON.COM, ORDER YOUR COPY NOW IN ADVANCE.
WITHIN THIS REVEALING LOOK INTO THE WORLD OF ADULT ENTERTAINMENT, FORMER ADULT FILM DIRECTOR C. L. GREGORY EXPLAINS HOW SEX HAS BECOME AN ECONOMIC FORCE IN TODAY'S MARKETPLACE. IN EACH EYE OPENING CHAPTER YOU'LL DISCOVER HOW ADULT FILMS ARE MADE, THE HISTORY OF ADULT FILMS, THE BUSINESS OF SEX AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW TO MAKE MONEY MAKING PORN. YOU'LL FIND OUT WHO THE REAL PLAYERS ARE IN THE BUSINESS AND HOW TO CONTACT THEM. IT'S EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN CONSIDERING A CAREER IN THE SEX INDUSTRY. WHETHER YOU'RE AN ASPIRING ADULT ACTOR, DIRECTOR, OR PORN STARLETT WANNABE, HOW TO BREAK INTO THE PORN INDUSTRY WILL GIVE YOU THE TOOLS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN MAKING YOUR FIRST ADULT FILM AND HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ONE OF THE FASTEST GROWING SEGMENTS OF THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Paris X-Posed Again
From TheSmokingGun.com
Risque online pics of Hilton reappear despite court injunction
JUNE 11--Defying a federal court injunction, a web site stocked with X-rated home videos and photos of Paris Hilton has recently reopened, apparently in a bid to cash in on the wave of publicity surrounding the hard-partying heiress's legal travails. The web site, parisexposed.com, was shuttered earlier this year after Hilton sued its operators for invasion of privacy and copyright violation. In late-February, U.S. District Court Judge George King signed a preliminary injunction (a copy of which you'll find here) barring the site from publishing a wide assortment of material about the 26-year-old Hilton, from her home and e-mail addresses, to medical and banking records. And, of course, "any picture depicting Plaintiff in a state of undress and in a private setting." Of which there are many, as a weekend tour of the reopened site made quite clear. Along with videos showing Hilton topless and bottomless, the site has clips of her partying and making a series of offensive statements. She refers to one woman as a "fat, ugly Jewish bitch" and uses the phrase "fat faggot" to describe another unseen target. Dancing with her sister Nicky at a New Year's Eve party in Aspen, Hilton mimics another person, announcing, "I'm a little black whore. I get fucked in the butt for coke." Then, remarking on her and Nicky's dancing, Hilton says, "We're like two niggers." These videotaped musings (and a chance to review other records) cost $19.97 for a 30-day period. But if that's too rich for you, we've gathered a sampling of the Hilton trove, which was obtained by the web site's operators after she failed to pay an overdue L.A. storage facility bill. On the following pages you'll find stills from a variety of videos as well as photos and documents. Images include Hilton getting stoned in Amsterdam; toilet stall snaps (one with Nicole Richie); topless script readings; tampon hijinks; candids of a once-fleshy Richie; bathtub frolics; underwear shots; unorthodox tanning bed procedures; a groping by "Girls Gone Wild" boss Joe Francis; public skirt hiking; and a rotund friend with a smile on his belly. Among documents posted on parisexposed.com are a court notice regarding an L.A traffic citation; an e-mail about the purchase of a $175,000 Bentley; a business letter from her father Rick; a U.S. Customs Service document regarding the apparent seizure of 148 tabs of the anti-anxiety drug Xanax; and a pharmacy notice. While it appears that several items (like Hilton's passport) have been removed from the site, much of what remains is covered by Judge King's order.
Risque online pics of Hilton reappear despite court injunction
JUNE 11--Defying a federal court injunction, a web site stocked with X-rated home videos and photos of Paris Hilton has recently reopened, apparently in a bid to cash in on the wave of publicity surrounding the hard-partying heiress's legal travails. The web site, parisexposed.com, was shuttered earlier this year after Hilton sued its operators for invasion of privacy and copyright violation. In late-February, U.S. District Court Judge George King signed a preliminary injunction (a copy of which you'll find here) barring the site from publishing a wide assortment of material about the 26-year-old Hilton, from her home and e-mail addresses, to medical and banking records. And, of course, "any picture depicting Plaintiff in a state of undress and in a private setting." Of which there are many, as a weekend tour of the reopened site made quite clear. Along with videos showing Hilton topless and bottomless, the site has clips of her partying and making a series of offensive statements. She refers to one woman as a "fat, ugly Jewish bitch" and uses the phrase "fat faggot" to describe another unseen target. Dancing with her sister Nicky at a New Year's Eve party in Aspen, Hilton mimics another person, announcing, "I'm a little black whore. I get fucked in the butt for coke." Then, remarking on her and Nicky's dancing, Hilton says, "We're like two niggers." These videotaped musings (and a chance to review other records) cost $19.97 for a 30-day period. But if that's too rich for you, we've gathered a sampling of the Hilton trove, which was obtained by the web site's operators after she failed to pay an overdue L.A. storage facility bill. On the following pages you'll find stills from a variety of videos as well as photos and documents. Images include Hilton getting stoned in Amsterdam; toilet stall snaps (one with Nicole Richie); topless script readings; tampon hijinks; candids of a once-fleshy Richie; bathtub frolics; underwear shots; unorthodox tanning bed procedures; a groping by "Girls Gone Wild" boss Joe Francis; public skirt hiking; and a rotund friend with a smile on his belly. Among documents posted on parisexposed.com are a court notice regarding an L.A traffic citation; an e-mail about the purchase of a $175,000 Bentley; a business letter from her father Rick; a U.S. Customs Service document regarding the apparent seizure of 148 tabs of the anti-anxiety drug Xanax; and a pharmacy notice. While it appears that several items (like Hilton's passport) have been removed from the site, much of what remains is covered by Judge King's order.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Rob Rotten: Curse the Beasts and the Children
SUN VALLEY, Calif. - Sun Valley, California is the land time forgot. Once off the 5 Freeway, the traveler finds himself transported back to a Twilight Zone world that looks remarkably like 1962. It's here where porn auteur Rob Rotten has chosen to shoot his epic comeback movie for Metro, Swallow My Children.
Up a dusty driveway with signs warning those who venture there to "Watch for Rattlesnakes!" the reporter wonders if he's found the right location. After some uphill hiking, he sees a large trampoline set up in a side yard upon which a fleshy, naked gal is performing oral sex on some hapless stud.
Yep. This must be the place.
The house itself is a sprawling, ramshackle affair and Rotten greets visitors to his set with cold beers and hot pizza.
He gives an overview of the movie while shooting two scenes simultaneously. "It's a 15-scene all blowjob movie," explains Rotten. "It's hilarious. Everything's spontaneous and improvised. The only thing I have for this movie is an approved budget by Metro. That's how I roll with most of my movies."
But production manager Johnny Thrust is starting to show signs of cracking under the stress. Rotten will later relate how Thrust experienced some sort of breakdown much like that of the character Kurtz in Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness.
"Some of the girls are getting booked as we speak," explains Rotten, who manages to maintain his own sense of calm.
The only way to rattle Rob Rotten, I'm guessing, is to threaten him with an industrial-sized magnet.
"It's like a ball," Rotten says of his production. "Once it starts rolling, it doesn't stop. So far we've done 5 scenes out of 10 today, so we're half done and right on schedule...well, actually, we're about two hours ahead of schedule."
Of course, the extra time is going to shooting comical setups to the scenes themselves. Rotten explains, "We're having a lot of fun shooting the skits. That's my favorite part. Even though this is just a blowjob movie and even though most people would shoot all the blowjobs in one day, I'd rather take two days and make it real funny and put some time and care into it."
And while the various scenes are being shot, the owner of the location is advising several wide--eyed new starlets that if they like to travel, "China is the place to go. The American dollar is strong there."
One of the girls pipes up with all the confidence and wisdom of her 18 years on planet earth and volunteers, "I've been to China."
"Really?" asks the owner. "Where were you?"
"Japan," she says.
Meanwhile, Rotten's setting up for another blowjob exchange, this time involving himself with Kaylee Love Cox. All I know is that if you worked a circus chimp this hard, you'd be going to jail.
A few days later, Metro exec Christian Mann sends a missive regarding the shoot. It reads, "First, I want to apologize to anyone who may be offended by the title of Rob Rotten's new movie. I want to state unequivocally that absolutely no people were actually swallowed during the production of this movie. True, several million sperm-cells were indeed ingested as they passed through the gullets of several attractive and thirsty—or is it hungry?—ladies. The protein-craving lasses may have used their considerable fellatio skills to lure the little buggers out of the pulsing shafts of the would-be fathers, but it should be noted that absent contact with a fertile ovary, the swimmers cannot technically be considered people and as such, Rob cannot be charged with murder. In fact, Mr. Rotten should be applauded for his contribution to the cause of birth control in an over-populated world. I have no additional comment at this time."
Spoken like a true businessman, indeed.
Swallow My Children will star, among many: Sasha Grey, Daisy Tanks, Britney Stevens, Whitney Stevens, Fayth Deluca, August West, Chavon Taylor, Heather Gables, Marsha Lord, Allison Pierce, Brandi Lyons, Mercedez Santos, Leighiani Red, Roxy DeVille, Laurie Vargas and Jocelyn Jayden.
courtesy avn.com
visit RobRottenxxx.com
Up a dusty driveway with signs warning those who venture there to "Watch for Rattlesnakes!" the reporter wonders if he's found the right location. After some uphill hiking, he sees a large trampoline set up in a side yard upon which a fleshy, naked gal is performing oral sex on some hapless stud.
Yep. This must be the place.
The house itself is a sprawling, ramshackle affair and Rotten greets visitors to his set with cold beers and hot pizza.
He gives an overview of the movie while shooting two scenes simultaneously. "It's a 15-scene all blowjob movie," explains Rotten. "It's hilarious. Everything's spontaneous and improvised. The only thing I have for this movie is an approved budget by Metro. That's how I roll with most of my movies."
But production manager Johnny Thrust is starting to show signs of cracking under the stress. Rotten will later relate how Thrust experienced some sort of breakdown much like that of the character Kurtz in Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness.
"Some of the girls are getting booked as we speak," explains Rotten, who manages to maintain his own sense of calm.
The only way to rattle Rob Rotten, I'm guessing, is to threaten him with an industrial-sized magnet.
"It's like a ball," Rotten says of his production. "Once it starts rolling, it doesn't stop. So far we've done 5 scenes out of 10 today, so we're half done and right on schedule...well, actually, we're about two hours ahead of schedule."
Of course, the extra time is going to shooting comical setups to the scenes themselves. Rotten explains, "We're having a lot of fun shooting the skits. That's my favorite part. Even though this is just a blowjob movie and even though most people would shoot all the blowjobs in one day, I'd rather take two days and make it real funny and put some time and care into it."
And while the various scenes are being shot, the owner of the location is advising several wide--eyed new starlets that if they like to travel, "China is the place to go. The American dollar is strong there."
One of the girls pipes up with all the confidence and wisdom of her 18 years on planet earth and volunteers, "I've been to China."
"Really?" asks the owner. "Where were you?"
"Japan," she says.
Meanwhile, Rotten's setting up for another blowjob exchange, this time involving himself with Kaylee Love Cox. All I know is that if you worked a circus chimp this hard, you'd be going to jail.
A few days later, Metro exec Christian Mann sends a missive regarding the shoot. It reads, "First, I want to apologize to anyone who may be offended by the title of Rob Rotten's new movie. I want to state unequivocally that absolutely no people were actually swallowed during the production of this movie. True, several million sperm-cells were indeed ingested as they passed through the gullets of several attractive and thirsty—or is it hungry?—ladies. The protein-craving lasses may have used their considerable fellatio skills to lure the little buggers out of the pulsing shafts of the would-be fathers, but it should be noted that absent contact with a fertile ovary, the swimmers cannot technically be considered people and as such, Rob cannot be charged with murder. In fact, Mr. Rotten should be applauded for his contribution to the cause of birth control in an over-populated world. I have no additional comment at this time."
Spoken like a true businessman, indeed.
Swallow My Children will star, among many: Sasha Grey, Daisy Tanks, Britney Stevens, Whitney Stevens, Fayth Deluca, August West, Chavon Taylor, Heather Gables, Marsha Lord, Allison Pierce, Brandi Lyons, Mercedez Santos, Leighiani Red, Roxy DeVille, Laurie Vargas and Jocelyn Jayden.
courtesy avn.com
visit RobRottenxxx.com
Monday, May 14, 2007
Real Notes Written By Parents!
NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district.
Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. Shehad diahre dyrea direathe the shits. ?
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
Some people are like Slinkies... not good for much of anything, but they still bring a smile to your face as you push them down a flight of stairs.
Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. Shehad diahre dyrea direathe the shits. ?
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
Some people are like Slinkies... not good for much of anything, but they still bring a smile to your face as you push them down a flight of stairs.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Metro Interactive / Loaded Digital Presents Rob Rotten's Scurvy Girls 2
The world’s most outrageous porn director Rob Rotten has done it again with Scurvy Girls 2. Rated AAAA (AVN May 2007).
Scurvy Girls 2 is a very bizarre but humorous mixture of vignette scenes starring: cover-girl Annette Schwarz, Roxy De Ville, Logan James, Persia Decarlo, Donny Long, Johnny Thrust, Dick Tracy, Jay Ashley and Rob Rotten himself. Rob takes part in his creations both in front of and behind the camera.
Rob had this to say about Scurvy Girls 2 – “Arrgh… Scurvy Girls 2... Plenty more of the ol' in out in out with my malenky devotchkas. A real horror-show I tell ya my droogs. None of the lubbilubbing, viddy my merzky molodoy devotchkas sodding in this sinny just for the likes of you. Enjoy this zammechat sinny and all of my ptitsas licking yarbles... Viddy Well, Rob Rotten".
Adds Metro Sales VP Christian Mann: “Rob Rotten has expressed my sentiments so articulately
already! The only thing I can add is to remind distributors that every single one of Rob’s movies have received an AVN AAAA rating, and most important, they all sell like crazy. Mr. Rotten has a specialized fan-base that consistently seeks his titles out. To put it poetically: When the rest of the porn is long forgotten, people remember the films of Rob Rotten!”
Rotten’s other titles for Loaded Digital include: Fuck The System, Porn Of The Dead, Scurvy Girls 1, Sperm Sponges. Cumming soon to his collection is “Swallow My Children” currently in production.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Man Cuts His Penis Off in a Restaurant
from drudgereport.com
London- A man chopped off his penis with a knife in front of horrified diners at a busy restaurant.
Police were called to Zizzi, in The Strand, London, at 9pm on Sunday after reports of a man in possession of a knife.
Sales rep Stuart McMahon, who was eating at the restaurant with his girlfriend, told the SUN:
"This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about.
"Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out.
"Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it."
A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said a man aged between 30-40 was the only person injured and that his injuries were self-inflicted.
She said he was taken to a south London hospital where his condition was today described as stable.
London- A man chopped off his penis with a knife in front of horrified diners at a busy restaurant.
Police were called to Zizzi, in The Strand, London, at 9pm on Sunday after reports of a man in possession of a knife.
Sales rep Stuart McMahon, who was eating at the restaurant with his girlfriend, told the SUN:
"This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about.
"Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out.
"Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it."
A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said a man aged between 30-40 was the only person injured and that his injuries were self-inflicted.
She said he was taken to a south London hospital where his condition was today described as stable.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Jenna Jameson - The Pregnancy and the Malignant Melanoma
From E! Online: Let's talk Jenna Jameson. The once curvy gal has been lookin' skeletal as hell lately, so when I saw her walk the carpet with new human sidekick of choice Tito Ortiz, I had to get the scoop on her dramatic weight loss.
"I went from 125 to 95 pretty quickly. I think my lightest was about 92 pounds," she said, saying it was due to stress over her messy divorce. "As a woman, you either eat a lot or you don't eat. It wasn't intentional. Now I'm trying to gain a little weight back. I'm feeling really healthy and I feel a lot more positive. My divorce is starting to come around a bit, and hopefully I'm able to walk away from it not angry—and be able to be friends."
The former porn princess also addressed those pesky plastic surgery rumors that she had some work done (that went awry) below the belt. "The whole vaginal reconstruction thing is just retarded. It's embarrassing that someone would hate me so much to say something like that," the busty-in-many-ways babe scoffed.
"It's not botched...it's beautiful!" Jenna added, regarding her apparently scalpel-free nooky area. Tito nodded, enthusiastically, at this declaration. Um, too much information, you two.
From Hollyscoop.com: Jenna Jameson often keeps mum about her private life but now she's opening up about the not-so-positive things that have occurred in her past.
She reveals to Us Weekly that back in 2004 she went to the dermatologist only to find out that she was pregnant and had a mole that was malignant melanoma.
She was obviously ecstatic about her pregnancy but unfortunately her joy turned to sadness as she miscarried the baby due to the stress of the cancer.
“If the pregnancy would have lasted, I wouldn’t have had the surgery,” she says. “So it was all in God’s plan.”
"I went from 125 to 95 pretty quickly. I think my lightest was about 92 pounds," she said, saying it was due to stress over her messy divorce. "As a woman, you either eat a lot or you don't eat. It wasn't intentional. Now I'm trying to gain a little weight back. I'm feeling really healthy and I feel a lot more positive. My divorce is starting to come around a bit, and hopefully I'm able to walk away from it not angry—and be able to be friends."
The former porn princess also addressed those pesky plastic surgery rumors that she had some work done (that went awry) below the belt. "The whole vaginal reconstruction thing is just retarded. It's embarrassing that someone would hate me so much to say something like that," the busty-in-many-ways babe scoffed.
"It's not botched...it's beautiful!" Jenna added, regarding her apparently scalpel-free nooky area. Tito nodded, enthusiastically, at this declaration. Um, too much information, you two.
From Hollyscoop.com: Jenna Jameson often keeps mum about her private life but now she's opening up about the not-so-positive things that have occurred in her past.
She reveals to Us Weekly that back in 2004 she went to the dermatologist only to find out that she was pregnant and had a mole that was malignant melanoma.
She was obviously ecstatic about her pregnancy but unfortunately her joy turned to sadness as she miscarried the baby due to the stress of the cancer.
“If the pregnancy would have lasted, I wouldn’t have had the surgery,” she says. “So it was all in God’s plan.”
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
"Entourage" Holed Up in Ron Jeremy's Pad
TMZ has learned that the television show "Entourage" is using uber porn star Ron Jeremy's Los Angeles apartment for production during their new season, and they're paying him $500 dollars a day for the curious privilege.
TMZ spoke to Jeremy who told us "They are using both of my balconies." He also described how the crew from the hit show cleaned over five years of bird droppings from his balconies! Yes, bird droppings. "They invited me to come and watch several tapings, and they even fed me," Jeremy added. It's always good to feed your porn stars.
The cast and crew has been there for a few weeks, and we're told that, er, shooting will continue for a couple more months at the porny digs. As TMZ earlier reported, residents of the complex are not as enchanted with the crew, but Ron claims it's great having them around. "They even babysit my pet tortoise, Cherry." Who knew that Ron still had Cherry?
Ron's neighbors aren't happy. The condos, located at the foot of celeb-hiker favorite Runyon Canyon, has become home to the boys of "Entourage," along with a large crew, lights and cameras.
At first, residents of the complex were told that shooting would go on for a week or so, and that their daily lives wouldn't be affected. But a TMZ source inside the complex reveals that the group has been anything but unnoticeable. Our source said that crew dudes can be found lounging in a top-floor gym, and that the pool area has become a smoking section for the show's grips and cameramen. "It has definitely made a huge impact having the crew roaming around," said the source.
For those who watch the show, the reason for the new location is that the new season finds "Johnny Drama" finally getting his own place. The residents at this condo just wish it wasn't in their building!
TMZ contacted HBO reps for a comment, but didn't hear back by press time.
TMZ spoke to Jeremy who told us "They are using both of my balconies." He also described how the crew from the hit show cleaned over five years of bird droppings from his balconies! Yes, bird droppings. "They invited me to come and watch several tapings, and they even fed me," Jeremy added. It's always good to feed your porn stars.
The cast and crew has been there for a few weeks, and we're told that, er, shooting will continue for a couple more months at the porny digs. As TMZ earlier reported, residents of the complex are not as enchanted with the crew, but Ron claims it's great having them around. "They even babysit my pet tortoise, Cherry." Who knew that Ron still had Cherry?
Ron's neighbors aren't happy. The condos, located at the foot of celeb-hiker favorite Runyon Canyon, has become home to the boys of "Entourage," along with a large crew, lights and cameras.
At first, residents of the complex were told that shooting would go on for a week or so, and that their daily lives wouldn't be affected. But a TMZ source inside the complex reveals that the group has been anything but unnoticeable. Our source said that crew dudes can be found lounging in a top-floor gym, and that the pool area has become a smoking section for the show's grips and cameramen. "It has definitely made a huge impact having the crew roaming around," said the source.
For those who watch the show, the reason for the new location is that the new season finds "Johnny Drama" finally getting his own place. The residents at this condo just wish it wasn't in their building!
TMZ contacted HBO reps for a comment, but didn't hear back by press time.
"Entourage" Holed Up in Ron Jeremy's Pad
TMZ has learned that the television show "Entourage" is using uber porn star Ron Jeremy's Los Angeles apartment for production during their new season, and they're paying him $500 dollars a day for the curious privilege.
TMZ spoke to Jeremy who told us "They are using both of my balconies." He also described how the crew from the hit show cleaned over five years of bird droppings from his balconies! Yes, bird droppings. "They invited me to come and watch several tapings, and they even fed me," Jeremy added. It's always good to feed your porn stars.
The cast and crew has been there for a few weeks, and we're told that, er, shooting will continue for a couple more months at the porny digs. As TMZ earlier reported, residents of the complex are not as enchanted with the crew, but Ron claims it's great having them around. "They even babysit my pet tortoise, Cherry." Who knew that Ron still had Cherry?
TMZ spoke to Jeremy who told us "They are using both of my balconies." He also described how the crew from the hit show cleaned over five years of bird droppings from his balconies! Yes, bird droppings. "They invited me to come and watch several tapings, and they even fed me," Jeremy added. It's always good to feed your porn stars.
The cast and crew has been there for a few weeks, and we're told that, er, shooting will continue for a couple more months at the porny digs. As TMZ earlier reported, residents of the complex are not as enchanted with the crew, but Ron claims it's great having them around. "They even babysit my pet tortoise, Cherry." Who knew that Ron still had Cherry?
Tiffany Million Starring In New WE Cable Show - "Wife, Mom, Bountyhunter"
Here's Her Bio From The Website's Link -
"Sandra Scott was born in 1966, in Richmond, California. The only daughter of a steamfitter and stay-at-home mom, Sandra was never content to follow the ‘beaten path.' Sandra's mother Dianna nick-named her daughter "little miss twenty questions," and it became apparent from very early on that Sandra was destined to carve out her own niche in the world, as she never seemed content to accept things as they were.
Sandra comes from a long line of law enforcement officers and military. Sandra's great-grandpa Charles was a Denver cop. Her grandfather and stepfather were both cops who retired from the San Pablo, California Police Department. Sandra's father was a Marine and her brother was a cryptologist for the US Navy. Her sister in law (also her husband Ron's twin sister) served in "Operation Iraqi Freedom."
This innate sense of independence would forge a personality that would later become the foundation for Sandra Scott: Wife, Mom, and Bounty Hunter.
Sandra broke into the male-dominated profession of "bounty-hunting" in 2004. After several decades as an actress, author, radio personality and lady wrestler on the hit television show "G.L.O.W.: The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling", Sandra felt that she had finally found her true calling: tracking and arresting fugitives.
Her all-American blonde-hair and blue eyes, combined with a curvy body and outgoing personality, would both help and hinder her as a Bounty Hunter. Men in the industry shunned her, and attempted to prevent her from working in "THEIR" industry. Sandra got her first break as a bounty hunter working at an agency known as "World Executive Protection Group" owned and run by famous bounty hunter Zeke Unger (technical consultant for the Kiera Knightley movie Domino).
In 2005, Sandra was personally invited to attend the Hollywood premier of Domino by the producer. It was at this premier at Grumman's Chinese Theater that she met fellow bounty hunter J.D. Wall. His 6' 6", 350 lb. Frame and intimidating presence were enough for Sandra to invite J.D. to join her team.
Nowadays, Sandra lives in Pinal County, Arizona, and regularly hunts down and arrests the most wily and dangerous criminals in this hardscrabble part of the country.
Sandra has also recently become a bail bonds agent, and purchased an existing bail bonds company in historic Florence, Arizona, called "Old West Bail Bonds." Florence is famous for a high-profile prison break that occurred there in the 1970's, about which a book and a movie were made.
Sandra resides in Queen Creek, Arizona, with her husband Ron, 15-year-old daughter Sabree, three cats ("Mocha," "Daisy," and "Poppy"), and their Chihuahua, "Bonita." Sandra's 6 year old daughter Ever-Skye divides her time between her dad's home in Simi Valley, California, and Sandra's home in Arizona."
"Sandra Scott was born in 1966, in Richmond, California. The only daughter of a steamfitter and stay-at-home mom, Sandra was never content to follow the ‘beaten path.' Sandra's mother Dianna nick-named her daughter "little miss twenty questions," and it became apparent from very early on that Sandra was destined to carve out her own niche in the world, as she never seemed content to accept things as they were.
Sandra comes from a long line of law enforcement officers and military. Sandra's great-grandpa Charles was a Denver cop. Her grandfather and stepfather were both cops who retired from the San Pablo, California Police Department. Sandra's father was a Marine and her brother was a cryptologist for the US Navy. Her sister in law (also her husband Ron's twin sister) served in "Operation Iraqi Freedom."
This innate sense of independence would forge a personality that would later become the foundation for Sandra Scott: Wife, Mom, and Bounty Hunter.
Sandra broke into the male-dominated profession of "bounty-hunting" in 2004. After several decades as an actress, author, radio personality and lady wrestler on the hit television show "G.L.O.W.: The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling", Sandra felt that she had finally found her true calling: tracking and arresting fugitives.
Her all-American blonde-hair and blue eyes, combined with a curvy body and outgoing personality, would both help and hinder her as a Bounty Hunter. Men in the industry shunned her, and attempted to prevent her from working in "THEIR" industry. Sandra got her first break as a bounty hunter working at an agency known as "World Executive Protection Group" owned and run by famous bounty hunter Zeke Unger (technical consultant for the Kiera Knightley movie Domino).
In 2005, Sandra was personally invited to attend the Hollywood premier of Domino by the producer. It was at this premier at Grumman's Chinese Theater that she met fellow bounty hunter J.D. Wall. His 6' 6", 350 lb. Frame and intimidating presence were enough for Sandra to invite J.D. to join her team.
Nowadays, Sandra lives in Pinal County, Arizona, and regularly hunts down and arrests the most wily and dangerous criminals in this hardscrabble part of the country.
Sandra has also recently become a bail bonds agent, and purchased an existing bail bonds company in historic Florence, Arizona, called "Old West Bail Bonds." Florence is famous for a high-profile prison break that occurred there in the 1970's, about which a book and a movie were made.
Sandra resides in Queen Creek, Arizona, with her husband Ron, 15-year-old daughter Sabree, three cats ("Mocha," "Daisy," and "Poppy"), and their Chihuahua, "Bonita." Sandra's 6 year old daughter Ever-Skye divides her time between her dad's home in Simi Valley, California, and Sandra's home in Arizona."
Monday, April 16, 2007
American Idol Sex Tape
From NBC News:
Olivia Mojica, who just missed becoming a finalist during the second season of American Idol, will now be featured as the first contestant on the show to make a sex tape.
A Texas native, Mojica is the latest celebrity to see a video she recently made with her boyfriend find its way into the public arena and get broad distribution from Vivid Entertainment, the world’s leading adult film company.
The DVD is titled ‘Hardcore Idol’ and will be in stores across the country on May 3.
Mojica was ranked as one of the “best of the rest” in the second season of the wildly popular Fox TV show American Idol, when she was just 18.
She performed last on March 3, 2003, singing “Because You Loved Me” made popular by Celine Dion, but lost out to a field that included Ruben Studdard, Corey Clark and Clay Aiken.
She is currently singing at clubs and other venues across the country as well as working on a full length album which is expected to be in stores nationwide in 2008.
The video, which Mojica made with her boyfriend Adam Roberts a month ago in her New York City apartment, was obtained by Vivid, which is currently trying to contact Mojica to see if she will help promote the video and share in revenue from its sale.
Olivia Mojica, who just missed becoming a finalist during the second season of American Idol, will now be featured as the first contestant on the show to make a sex tape.
A Texas native, Mojica is the latest celebrity to see a video she recently made with her boyfriend find its way into the public arena and get broad distribution from Vivid Entertainment, the world’s leading adult film company.
The DVD is titled ‘Hardcore Idol’ and will be in stores across the country on May 3.
Mojica was ranked as one of the “best of the rest” in the second season of the wildly popular Fox TV show American Idol, when she was just 18.
She performed last on March 3, 2003, singing “Because You Loved Me” made popular by Celine Dion, but lost out to a field that included Ruben Studdard, Corey Clark and Clay Aiken.
She is currently singing at clubs and other venues across the country as well as working on a full length album which is expected to be in stores nationwide in 2008.
The video, which Mojica made with her boyfriend Adam Roberts a month ago in her New York City apartment, was obtained by Vivid, which is currently trying to contact Mojica to see if she will help promote the video and share in revenue from its sale.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Michael Jackson Swears To Stop Any Memorabilia Auction That Doesn't Directly Bankroll His Next Insane Theme Park Project
Having been forced to abandon his grand plans for "LeprechaunWorld" and "Wet N' Wild: Bahrain" because of a tragic lack of imagination on the part of his host nations, Michael Jackson is seeking to set up shop in the only place where no vision is deemed too ambitious to be realized -- Las Vegas. Jackson is reportedly mulling both a Vegas show and the only kind of monument that can adequately celebrate his current levels of crazy -- a 50-foot robot. With lasers!
"It would be in the desert sands," said Mike Luckman of Luckman Van Pier, consultants to large entertainment companies. "Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying into Vegas would see. Neon is wonderful, but it's old school." Luckman's partner, Andre Van Pier, who designed the futuristic spacesuits worn recently by Bono and U2 at a benefit concert in New Orleans, designed the robot. He has also sketched out a stage set of a giant audience-interactive video game with human cyborgs controlled by the audience. Said Luckman: "Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them."
Now Michael Jackson has found himself distracted with the possibility of yet more legal entanglements, he is mulling whether to take action against the owners of a warehouse full of repossessed Jackson family memorabilia who plan on putting up the contents for auction. More than 1,100 Jackson family items are set for auction in Las Vegas next month, but a representative for Michael Jackson says the pop star is considering legal action to stop the sale. Guernsey's auction house said items include Michael Jackson's gold record for his Thriller album, handwritten lyrics for The Jackson Five hit ABC and a "Victory Tour" program signed by Jackson family members. The former owner, Henry Vaccaro, claimed a warehouse full of Jackson memorabilia after a failed business venture wound up in bankruptcy court. Michael Jackson and his sister Janet Jackson sued to stop Vaccaro from taking ownership, but a Los Angeles judge threw out Michael Jackson's claim in 2006.
The auction comes at precisely the moment Jackson could use an extra couple hundred million to bankroll his monolithic desert cyborg's titanium siding, but, sadly, should it proceed, the deposed pop monarch won't see a penny of the proceeds -- not even the lot featuring a mummified Bubbles in custom-tailored tuxedo, which, expert appraisers predict, could bring in somewhere in the low seven figures, to say nothing of his "Congratulations On Your 75th Nosejob" Certificate, a rare and valuable memento signed and certified by the Plastic Surgeons' Board of America.
from defamer.com
"It would be in the desert sands," said Mike Luckman of Luckman Van Pier, consultants to large entertainment companies. "Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying into Vegas would see. Neon is wonderful, but it's old school." Luckman's partner, Andre Van Pier, who designed the futuristic spacesuits worn recently by Bono and U2 at a benefit concert in New Orleans, designed the robot. He has also sketched out a stage set of a giant audience-interactive video game with human cyborgs controlled by the audience. Said Luckman: "Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them."
Now Michael Jackson has found himself distracted with the possibility of yet more legal entanglements, he is mulling whether to take action against the owners of a warehouse full of repossessed Jackson family memorabilia who plan on putting up the contents for auction. More than 1,100 Jackson family items are set for auction in Las Vegas next month, but a representative for Michael Jackson says the pop star is considering legal action to stop the sale. Guernsey's auction house said items include Michael Jackson's gold record for his Thriller album, handwritten lyrics for The Jackson Five hit ABC and a "Victory Tour" program signed by Jackson family members. The former owner, Henry Vaccaro, claimed a warehouse full of Jackson memorabilia after a failed business venture wound up in bankruptcy court. Michael Jackson and his sister Janet Jackson sued to stop Vaccaro from taking ownership, but a Los Angeles judge threw out Michael Jackson's claim in 2006.
The auction comes at precisely the moment Jackson could use an extra couple hundred million to bankroll his monolithic desert cyborg's titanium siding, but, sadly, should it proceed, the deposed pop monarch won't see a penny of the proceeds -- not even the lot featuring a mummified Bubbles in custom-tailored tuxedo, which, expert appraisers predict, could bring in somewhere in the low seven figures, to say nothing of his "Congratulations On Your 75th Nosejob" Certificate, a rare and valuable memento signed and certified by the Plastic Surgeons' Board of America.
from defamer.com
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Nicole Sheridan On The Howard Stern Show
Howard had the porn star Nicole Sheridan into the studio to play a round of Win Fred’s Money. As a bonus, Howard added that Nicole had agreed to give KB, the virgin who was turned down for sex earlier this month when he won “a date” with another porn star, “a hand” if she lost to Fred. Before he got to the game, though, Howard told Nicole that he felt she could’ve been a legitimate model or married “a rich dude,” but she responded she was “too old” to model and wasn’t interested in being with a man just for his money. Nicole noted that she felt she chose “the perfect career” and had gone from starring in adult films to now mostly directing them. Nicole then revealed she was married, but that she’d still be able to go on “a date” with KB if she lost the game, adding that while she and her husband were “emotionally monogamous,” the same rules didn’t apply to their physical lives.
Nicole also admitted she didn’t completely shave her private area, preferring instead to keep it “neatly trimmed,” before discussing her first lesbian experience, which she recalled happened with two sisters while they were all in college. KB then came into the studio and told his story, and Nicole instructed him that women would be more interested in him if he acted more confident.
Nicole reported she had an IQ of 155 and was in “the gifted classes” in school, which was why she felt she could challenge Fred in the game. As Nicole showed off her body much to KB’s [audible] delight, Artie pointed out her IQ was the same as KB’s weight...“when he was in kindergarten.”
Following some phone calls for Nicole, Howard had Fred move into Robin’s booth so he couldn’t hear what was happening in the studio. These were the questions Howard asked Nicole and, later on, when it was Fred’s turn, as well as their responses:
• Who was the composer of “The Marriage of Figaro”? Nicole correctly answered Mozart, as did Fred.
• What musical instrument is held with the teeth and plucked with the finger? Nicole guessed the piccolo while Fred guessed the jaw’s harp, which was right, even though Howard said he also would’ve accepted the Jew’s harp.
• Which NFL team did John Madden coach to a Super Bowl victory? While Nicole incorrectly went with the New England Patriots, Fred was right with his response of the Oakland Raiders.
• Who was the last Major League Baseball pitcher to win 30 games? Neither Nicole nor Fred had a guess, and the answer was Denny McLain.
• Who wrote the plays “Our Town” and “The Matchmaker”? Nicole didn’t have a guess, but Fred was right when he answered Thornton Wilder.
• If you have triskaidekaphobia, what are you afraid of? Nicole was wrong when she said hair and Fred was right when he replied, “The number 13.”
• What is the second largest planet in the solar system? Nicole incorrectly guessed Venus and Fred incorrectly guessed Jupiter when the right answer was actually Saturn.
After promising to fulfill her promise and go on her “date” with KB, Nicole got on the Sybian, which very quickly brought her to orgasm. Nicole then announced her husband, Voodoo, wanted to come in to give Howard an engagement present – which was a necklace – and he begrudgingly let him in. As soon as he entered, Voodoo acknowledged he was having “a great week,” not just because he was on the Howard Stern Show this morning, but also because he was about to have sex with two women for a magazine photo shoot while his wife directed them how to orally pleasure him. Voodoo went on to note he wanted to have sex with Robin while also insisting he’d have no problems with Nicole being with Howard and Beth at the same time. Voodoo next promised KB that he was in for “the day of his life” given Nicole’s ability to use her hand on men, which she then demonstrated on a banana.
courtesy HowardStern.com
Did You Even Bother?
To see the hugely hyped Aniston - Cox kiss last night? 88% of voters (total votes 8.247) on TMZ.com said the kiss was totally lame.
Here it is if you need to see for yourself...
Here it is if you need to see for yourself...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
XRCO Selects Jana Jordan as Heart-On Girl
The X-Rated Critics Organization (XRCO) has chosen Ninn Worx contract starlet Jana Jordan as the officia
l Heart-On Girl for its 23rd annual awards show, scheduled for April 5 in Hollywood.
l Heart-On Girl for its 23rd annual awards show, scheduled for April 5 in Hollywood.The Heart-On Girl presents the heart-shaped trophies to the winners, according to XRCO co-chairman Dirty Bob. She has traditionally been chosen from the ranks of the newest starlets with the strongest potential to be X-rated stars.
Jordan is so new there are still no movies with her on the street. Yet she's appeared on the covers of such publications as Hustler, Rockstar, Barely Legal, Live Young Girls and Spin, and was recently named Penthouse Pet of the Month.
The industry-only XRCO event will be the first chance for many in the adult business to get a gander at the blonde Texas native in the flesh.
"Trophy girls are sexy," Jordan said through her publicist. "I'm so happy to be the Heart-On Girl for the XRCO. I have to thank them for this honor."
The term Heart-On comes from the XRCO's heart-shaped trophy, which derives from the fact that for its first six years the awards show was held on Valentine's Day.
According to Jared Rutter, the original XRCO chairman, now a senior editor with AVN, the very first Heart-On Girl was Amber Lynn, in 1985. She was followed the next year by Nina Hartley. Both went on to become adult movie legends.
Other Heart-On Girls over the years have included such superstars-to-be as Kylie Ireland, Jewel De'Nyle and Tera Patrick, each of whom came back to host the ceremony in later years. Patrick returns again this year as co-host with hubby Evan Seinfeld.
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