Morbid Story Of The Day - Family cremated mom on BBQ, Kept Benefits

Sheriff: Family Cremated Mom On BBQ, Kept Benefits
From Associated Press
October 15, 2008 3:30 PM EDT

CORNING, Calif. - Authorities say relatives of a deceased Tehama County woman cremated her remains on a makeshift barbecue and continued collecting her retirement checks.

Ramona Allmond's daughter and grandson were arrested Sunday on suspicion of embezzlement, elder abuse and disposing of a body without a permit, among other charges. They are being held at the Tehama County Jail in Red Bluff on $30,000 bail, with arraignment set for Thursday.

Sheriff's Capt. Paul Hosler says the 84-year-old Allmond likely had died of natural causes, though investigators are still trying to determine the cause of death.

Hosler says her daughter, 50-year-old Kathleen Allmond, and her grandson, 30-year-old Tony Ray, told investigators they left the body on her bedroom floor for a week before cremating the remains in their backyard fire pit. They then covered the pit and remains with soil and planted a tree on top, according to investigators. The family's home sits in the midst of a 10-acre olive grove, remote from neighbors.

Detectives say the daughter also fashioned a two-inch piece of her mother's skull into a necklace. Hosler said Ray took a photograph of Kathleen Allmond wearing the necklace, as well as a beaded wire tiara that she believed would ward off radio waves, to post on a social networking Web site.

"It gets really weird when you have a piece of mom's skull hanging around your neck," Hosler said. "I'm not aware of any religion that allows you to burn your family members in the backyard and collect their pension."

Investigators said they kept collecting her monthly retirement checks amounting to more than $25,000 since the elderly woman died in December.

Det. Richard Knox said they may have been trying to honor the woman's desire to die at home and be cremated.

Deputies arrested the pair after the dead woman's son asked deputies for a welfare check because he had not heard from his mother since December. Hosler said his suspicions were further aroused last week when he called and Kathleen Allmond pretended she was the 84-year-old woman.

Sarah Palin Remix

One More!

Size Does Matter, Enlarge Now!

A Day In The Life

On a damp Friday morning in downtown Los Angeles in a chilly, rather shabby warehouse, a group of bearded, tattooed technicians haul cameras and lighting equipment up a flight of stairs. Several other camera crews getting ready to film. One group is here to shoot an episode of Top Chef, the culinary reality show presented by Padma Lakshmi (better known in Britain as Salman Rushdie's ex), another crew is from the E! entertainment channel, here to film an episode of Chelsea Lately, a late-night comedy chat show. But the people here also occupy a more notorious corner of the media industry. They are among the thousands of pornographic actors and film-makers living and working in the Los Angeles area: the sex professionals who turn private passions into everyday paid employment.

Today, Monique Alexander, one of the biggest names in porn, is starring in Teach Me, a Vivid Entertainment production directed by Paul Thomas - the industry's answer to Martin Scorsese. It is in many ways a typical adult feature. It has a small cast, a low budget, no real script and contains sex scenes that could be found in any number of similar releases.

Alexander is petite, pretty and blonde. Shortly after arriving on set she is engrossed in conversation with an assistant who is applying heavy black eyeliner. A few yards away stands her male co-star, a Canadian with a dyed-blond mohican stripe and a deep tan, who goes by the stage name of Voodoo.

Voodoo says he often films four or five sex scenes a week but varies his routine by working at weekends as a sky-diving instructor. He is married to another porn performer. When asked whether having frequent sexual encounters with other people has affected their marriage, he laughs dismissively. "I go home each day and we have more sex," he says. "We can't get enough of it."

Today, Alexander is playing a school teacher - albeit one providing tuition in a black negligee - who seduces Voodoo and then his girlfriend. Although there is no script, Thomas, a rangy man with a greying goatee, has cooked up a complicated story-within-a-story plot that he patiently explains to the performers. Alexander, under contract to Vivid to make eight films a year, listens intently. "It's like I'm in a pink sparkle bubble at Vivid. It's always the same people on set," she says. "It's like a big family." She grew up in Sacramento and initially worked as a receptionist but got into porn after being spotted at a club.

While the set is being prepared for filming, the two-man camera crew loiters. To kill time, Shylar Cobi, the production manager, is working on his putting, knocking a golf ball across the floor, while technicians tape up the windows to ensure no natural light spoils the shot. Then the set falls silent and the action begins.

The two thickset, bearded cameramen silently shift their position around the two stars as Alexander performs oral sex on Voodoo. Out of shot, Thomas takes a seat at a desk several feet away, puts on his glasses and opens a copy of the Los Angeles Times, only occasionally looking up to see what is happening in front of him. A stagehand standing next to me watches the action intently for a few minutes and then, as quietly as he can, opens a bag of Doritos and begins to eat.

Suddenly, there is a commotion: the paper covering one of the skylights has fallen off the ceiling. The performers break and the stagehand who was eating Doritos is dispatched upstairs to fix the problem. The shoot delayed, a naked Alexander walks off to the bathroom, her black stilettos clicking across the floor, while Voodoo stays behind. In porn, as in most lines of business, time is money and he must remain in character so that filming can quickly resume once the set is fixed. Nobody else on the set bats an eyelid.

It's amateur hour in the porn world. Although the professionals in California's San Fernando Valley town called Chatsworth, the industry's unofficial capital, are still turning out around a thousand new DVD's every month, their ability to turn a profit from them is under serious pressure.

But for a chance meeting in a Sacramento nightclub, Monique Alexander would never have become a porn star. As it is, she was spotted dancing seven years ago and has since become one of the industry's biggest names.

Alexander tells the story of her start while a make-up artist dabs away at her face. She was working as a receptionist when she was spotted. "Porn wasn't anything I ever thought about. But I had a car payment to make and couldn't afford it at $8 an hour."

There was no turning back after taking the plunge: films can exist in perpetuity on the internet. "This is something that you have to live with for the rest of your life," says Alexander.

Was her family concerned? "I told my mom after a couple of months," she says. "No parent wants their child to do porn. But I'm a big girl and I'm an adult. She never tried to talk me out of it, not once."

Porn careers tend to be short, but can also be relatively lucrative. Top stars can earn anything from $150,000 to $500,000 a year. Enterprising performers, such as Jenna Jameson, have been able to earn more by producing and controlling their own movies.

Alexander says porn has treated her well. She supplements her pay from Vivid with personal appearances at strip clubs, where she can earn "very good money", boosting her earnings by thousands of dollars. After finishing today's movie, she was due to travel to Hawaii to do six shows.

She has also become a vocal supporter of porn and recently took part in a Yale debate on the industry, which was moderated by journalist Martin Bashir and filmed for ABC's Nightline program. Alexander appeared in the pro-porn camp alongside Ron Jeremy, perhaps the industry's most famous performer. "My argument was: I'm a normal person, it's not demeaning," says Alexander. The work is, she says, "empowering".

Like all performers, she faces competition from a new generation of potential stars. Paul Fishbein, founder of Adult Video News, says more female performers are entering the industry than ever before. "When I started working in this business 25 years ago, it was all hush-hush," he says. "It's now a career choice... There are all these 18-year-old girls wanting to get into porn."

Alexander agrees. "Everyone wants to do [porn] now," she says. "But people should realize that it has consequences. You have to be up for the challenge."

[Excerpted From the Financial Times]

Halle Berry Is Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive"

LOS ANGELES - Alongside a photo spread that shows her in little more than a T-shirt, Halle Berry talks about being the sexiest woman alive, a title Esquire magazine gives her in its November issue.

“I don’t know exactly what it means, but being 42 and having just had a baby, I think I’ll take it,” says Berry, who gave birth to her daughter, Nahla, in March.

“Sexiness is a state of mind — a comfortable state of being,” she says. “It’s about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments.”

But Berry, who won an Oscar for her role in “Monster’s Ball,” can’t claim the sexiest-woman honor all to herself.

“I share this title with every woman, because every woman is a nominee for it at any moment,” she says.

Lisa Ann To Play Lead Role In 'Nailin' Paylin'

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Hustler Video has cast sexy Milf and former Metro Contract Girl Lisa Ann as Republican VP Candidate Sarah Palin in a porn spoof called Nailin' Paylin.

Word of the latest political parody from Larry Flynt and company spread earlier today after the New York Daily News printed a rumor that Hustler was seeking Palin lookalikes on Craigslist. Hustler Video denied any connection with the ad but confirmed the Palin parody is in the works.



"Nailin’ Paylin will take the viewer on a naughty adventure to the wild side of that sexy Alaska governor," the company announced in a press release. "Sara Paylin will not only be showing us some girl-on-girl lovin’ but will also be nailing the Russians, who come knocking on her back-door (wink, wink) and in a flashback, young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a 'big bang' theory even she can’t deny!"

One scene will show the Palin character in a lesbian threesome with characters based on Hillary Clinton (played by Nina Hartley) and Condoleezza Rice. The movie will also feature a Bill O’Reilly character as the announcer who dishes dirt on the Paylin sex scandals.

"Obviously, the real life antics of Sarah Palin are much funnier than anything we could ever make up," Hustler told AVN. "Her public appearances seem more like a trailer for a Farrelly brothers film then a carefully executed run at the White House."

Hustler plans to have Nailin' Paylin on the streets in time for the November election.

POLL: Will Biden Field Dress Palin's Moose Tonight?

I have been waiting all week for this! Yes! Yes! Yes! In the meantime, post your opinions by clicking on the "Click Here To Add Your Comment" link below and just post your responses to these questions:

1) Will Biden field dress Palin's moose tonight?

2) If this shit was on PPV, would you actually pay to watch this debate?

3) Have you already gotten your popcorn?

4) Are they gonna have their ears checked for little receivers first that might help with answers and such?

5) Do you think Palin is stupid?

6) Did McCain make a fatal error in selecting her?

7) Would you rather have a polar bear as VP than her?

8) How long will it take to get the juiciest clips up on YouTube?

Open Casting Call ... For ... Sarah Palin Lookalike

THIS IS A TRUE STORY! AS REPORTED IN THE NEW YORK POST...



Hustler Founder Larry Flynt and his Hustler Video have announced today plans to make a porn video spoofing Alaska Governor & Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin. Since Tina Fey is busy doing the spoof for Saturday Night Live, an ad has been placed on Craigslist seeking a Palin double who will not say "Thanks But No Thanks" to the $3,000 that is being offered for the role. Examples of possible titles - "Juneau You Want It" and "Northern Xxxposure."

Big News - FREE Live Feeds Coming Soon For VideoTeam Members

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Pamela Anderson Makes Ellen's Day!

Click Here - Would you hit this? I know Ellen would!

Pamela Anderson gave Ellen a late Bachelorette Party gift on the Sept. 10 edition of her show when Pam stripped down to her bikini and danced around. Every once in a while some paparazzi pics of Pam looking rough show up, but the 41-year-old Canadian proved she still has a rockin’ body. Ellen’s face says it all! You know you'd bang her!

The World Has Now Collectively And Officially Gone Insane

Black Is White.
Up Is Down.
In Is Out.



Yes Is No.
Wrong Is Right.
Hot Is Cold.

BREAKING NEWS: McCain Found Drinkin Pune juice And Pinching Old Ladies' Asses At The Bingo Hall!

OMG! I Can't Wait Till Thursday!!!

I am so looking forward to that debate!!! It's going to be a train wreck!!!

McCain Declares Victory Over Debate That Hasn't Happened Yet!!!

This guy is in the process of losing his marbles right before our very eyes! I am having so much fun watching this, every day is a new drama!

After suspending his campaign in order to focus all his energy on the economic crisis and then sitting like a bookend for 43 minutes in the meeting yesterday with Bush and Obama without saying a word, McCain released a campaign web ad this morning in the online version of the Wall Street Journal declaring "McCain Wins Debate!" -- put out even before the candidate had announced he was planning to debate.

"McCain Wins Debate!" declares the ad which features a headshot of a smiling McCain with an American flag background. Another ad spotted by our eagle-eyed observer featured a quote from McCain campaign manager Rick Davis declaring: "McCain won the debate-- hands down."


Here's the screenshot.

Seriously, we need to note that this guy is off his rocker, and just in case we lose him, his choice for VP is pretty scary.

I'd Say It's A Tie...

Man Charged With Battery For Farting At Cops

A West Virginia man accused of passing gas and fanning it toward a police officer no longer faces a battery charge.

The Kanawha County prosecutor's office requested that the charge be dropped against 34-year-old Jose Cruz.

Cruz, of Clarksburg, W. Va., was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station.

According to a criminal complaint, Cruz passed gas and made a fanning motion toward patrolman T.E. Parsons after being taken for a breathalyzer test.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

Cruz, who was arrested Tuesday, still faces two charges: driving under the influence and driving without headlights, and two counts of obstruction.

David Letterman ON FIRE!

This is 9 minutes but well worth it, David is at his very best!

Hef Loses His Whole Harem - Like Our $700 Billion, Snap Your Fingers And It's Gone

The economy is not the only thing taking a dive. Now Hugh Hefner's sex life is in the toilet too!


Earlier this week it was announced that Kendra was hooking up with Hank Baskett of the Philadelphia Eagles, and that Holly had ditched him for Chris Angel. Regarding Holly and Chris being spotted in Vegas over the weekend, Hef tells Usmagazine.com in a new interview, "She is still my girlfriend. Now will that last? I don’t think anything lasts forever. I love her very much, but you know, she wants very much to get married and have children. That isn’t very much in the cards for me," he adds. "So there has to be a certain reality there. And I’m sure the time will come when she’ll be dating others. That’s part of the transition."

As of yesterday we were left thinking only Bridget Marquardt, who is married to a man in Ohio, has stayed loyal to Hefner while developing a show for the Travel Channel but we find today that even this is not true.

From thesuperficial.com:
Hugh Hefner really must be rocking the Depends because Bridget Marquart, the last faithful Girl Next Door, is bailing on him, Page Six reports:

Word comes that Marquardt also has a man on the side. Our tipster says, "Bridget's been getting quite close with Nick Carpenter, Marisa Tomei's ex-boyfriend. He directed her in a movie recently and apparently they 'hang out' whenever she can escape the mansion."

Goddamn, this is depressing. I refuse to accept it's not possible for a man to have enough money that he can score with a gaggle of young blonde chicks with fake breasts well into his 80s. I'm pretty sure that's the guiding principle of our great nation. In fact, if history serves me correct, Benjamin Franklin said it best when he said "See how many ho's you can get with this printing press, Mr. Jefferson, and make sure they got them breasteses all huge and stuff."

Special Announcement From Barack Obama

WTF - Horrible News - Can Someone In Russia Confirm This?????

Just got this by email. Nothing in the local news, nothing on CNN, is this true????
Fucking shocking!!!!